Moby Goes to Shithole Reservoirs

Larry has been fishing rarely visited reservoirs on BLM land where Idaho meets Oregon meets Nevada. More or less. (The I.O.N. Triangle). Nearby McDermitt, Nevada, population 500, is the only town for 100+ miles. The term reservoir is a stretch. These mud puddles were created by bulldozing a pile of dirt across a ravine to catch a bit of snow melt. They water cattle in the dry summer months, unless they go dry. Which makes fishing them iffy. They’re stocked with trout by a state I cannot mention (on Larry’s orders). If snow and rain and luck hold, if the sun is not too hot, there will be enough water for the fish to survive the winter to live and grow another year. Eventually they might get big. Or not. But how can you be sure unless you go and see?

And so we go.

Perhaps you are planning a Shithole Reservoir tour yourself. Larry and I have created a scoring guide to help you choose from the plethora of possibilities. Which have the best fishing? Which are the most scenic? Which can you drive to without ruining a $1600 set of tires? Dear Reader, read on.

Shithole Reservoir Scoring Guide

Fish = Does the reservoir have fish? Lots of fish? Big fish?

Road = How far is the reservoir from pavement? Do you need 4×4? Is it likely that your vehicle will be destroyed?

Quality of Life = Is there grass? Shade? A view? A flat place to camp?

Each category is scored on a 1-4 scale. The fishing category is doubled because, according to Larry but not obvious to me, it is the most important. Total possible points = 16.

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The Shithole Reservoirs

(Although this is a travel guide, Larry has insisted that I change the names of these Shithole Reservoirs, lest you rush out and catch all the non-existent fish before Larry can do so himself. All of Larry’s fake names contain a hint to lead you to the real name . . . as if you care.)

Lee

Score = 4/16

• Fish = 0
• Road = 3
• Quality of Life = 1

Notes: The lowest-scoring reservoir in our survey for good reason. This place is hideous. Hot, dry, dusty, cow-stomped. Added bonus: NO fish. The only upside is you can get there on a good dirt road.

Peak

Score = 5/16

• Fish = 0
• Road = 4
• Quality of Life = 1

Notes: Barely missing the honor of last place by the dubious advantage of being closer to pavement, this place is a must-see if you love cows. But don’t expect to catch anything because there were NO fish!

 

Baby Serpent

Score = 5/16

• Fish = 0
• Road = 3
• Quality of Life = 2

Notes: Be sure to come on a blue-sky white-cloud day. It’s the only reason we gave this dump a “2” for Quality of Life. Set up camp on this Martian landscape and pretend you’ve been resettled to Mars for the rest of your life. Hope you brought supplies because you will NOT be eating fish!

 

High Viper

Score = 5/16

• Fish = 0
• Road = 2
• Quality of Life = 3

 

 

Wildflowers add to the Quality of Life category.

Notes: Although Larry had high hopes for this reservoir, plan to spend your time hiking since there were NO fish.

 

Intersection

Score = 6/16

• Fish = 0
• Road = 3
• Quality of Life = 3

 

Notes: Bring your pals and good food and drink. Spend your time socializing and forget fishing. There were NO fish!

 

Horse Tail

Score = 10/16

• Fish = 3
• Road = 3
• Quality of Life = 1

Notes: Finally a shithole WITH FISH!!! . . . and a relatively easy drive (unless it rains and you’ll slide off the dam and get stuck, as we did on a return trip.) Too bad the Quality of Life is so low: hot, dry, dusty, cows. Stop in to wet your line, but don’t plan to camp here.

 

Basque

Score = 13/16

• Fish = 3
• Road = 4
• Quality of Life = 3

Notes: Finally a place we’d want to hang out for a few days. Drive in on a very good road, catch lots of decent fish, and camp among the green rolling hills.

 

Top Secret

Score = 13.5/16

• Fish = 3.5
• Road = 3
• Quality of Life = 3

 

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Notes: This one has it all–good fishing, good roads, good camping.  And you’ll probably have the place to yourself.

 

Super Top Secret

Score: 14/16

• Fish = 4
• Road = 2
• Quality of Life = 4

 

Notes: This place wins our “Best of the Worst” category with an almost perfect score, falling short due to the last bit of road being passable only by serious 4×4 vehicles, a road so steep and rocky I walked while Larry drove Moby. But if you make it in, you’ll be rewarded with eager big fish, a grassy campsite, good hiking, and interesting wildlife neighbors.

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And so, Dear Reader, we conclude our travelogue of Shithole Reservoirs. We hope you put your own trip together and suffer as we have. Larry says there are more trips to come, as he is sometimes rewarded with giant trout like this 6-pounder from a reservoir north of the I.O.N. Triangle, coming soon to a blog near you.